A few days ago I created a half-term report for MotoGP, and now I turn my attention to F1. With the knowledge that ‘less is more’, I’ve decided to sum up each driver’s opening 11 races in just one word. Hopefully each one will be self-explanatory, but if you really are confused, leave a comment.

So, without further ado, let’s cut to the chase.

Sebastian Vettel – sublime
Mark Webber – two (as in “not bad for a number two driver”, obviously)
Lewis Hamilton – erratic
Jenson Button – Aquaman
Fernando Alonso – happy
Felipe Massa – sad
Michael Schumacher – past
Nico Rosberg – almost
Nick Heidfeld – exit
Vitaly Petrov – crash-landing
Rubens Barrichello – frustration
Pastor Maldonado – disappointing
Adrian Sutil – fighter (“only on track” – Mad Owl lawyer)
Paul Di Resta – future
Kamui Kobayashi – consistent
Sergio Perez – bruised
Pedro De La Rosa – cameo
Sebastian Buemi – solid
Jaime Alguersuari – rescued
Heikki Kovalainen – defying
Jarno Trulli – troubled
Karun Chandhok – erm
Narain Karthikeyan – bye
Daniel Ricciardo – welcome
Vitantonio Liuzzi – resurrection
Timo Glock – trudging
Jerome D’Ambrosio – who?